As I mentioned in yesterday's post, I did manage to complete 2 out of 3 challenges on Day Eight. No word of the day but that one's on hiatus for now. After I finished my post I sent a text message to my lunch companion for the day. I told him "What I Like About You: You don't take yourself too seriously but know when earnestness is needed." Shortly thereafter, he replied, "Thanks, that's a nice compliment. Are you ok?"
I couldn't help but wonder whether this was a comment about me or about the world at large. Am I the kind of person who is so aloof or unappreciative that it's a shock when I offer an unexpected compliment? And not just shock-worthy but apparently so out of character that it prompts concern for my health? Or maybe it's just a gauge of what the world has become today. Everyone is so busy and wrapped up in their own lives (a stereotype to which I am no exception) that we can't be bothered to take the 20 seconds it took me to type my message and share what we enjoy about others with said others. I think this is the underlying reason for this challenge. I want to learn to appreciate the people in my life both for how they enrich my life and just for who they are. As I am learning, to recognize these things in others is not so difficult but making sure they know you're paying attention and you think they're great is more effort than I expected. I wonder if this will get easier as the time passes or if I'll find it even more difficult once I've exhausted the pool of people from which I can easily choose.
The Details: Setting-Lunch; Time-12:15pm. I met my friend. We talked about all sorts of things. Work (he does the same thing I do though arguably better given the years of experience), his college homecoming weekend, his kids and ultimately got around to the subject of John and I. We've been trying to figure out an ideal living arrangement considering we currently live and work in two different states. It's been a bit tricky and we have yet to identify the perfect solution. Anyway, I shared my concerns with him and the options we'd so far discussed. He offered some suggestions and expressed his empathy for what a difficult situation this is. I appreciated having a sounding board from someone who wasn't involved and didn't really have any interest in how it turned out aside from wanting the best for me.
Briefly, I have known this person for nearly half my life. I first met him when he came to work for my mom, his first job out of law school. We've always had an easy, playful relationship where we tease one another and generally enjoy each other's company. He is also famous for being a bit of a hellion, particularly at the office. He likes to play jokes on his colleagues and others around him. For example, when asked to write a character reference for my state bar application, the letter he sent to myself and my mother to review was less than glowing. I wish I still had it somewhere to accompany this post. It was, in fact, a depiction of a class-less, horrible girl who sometimes had trouble with the law both in the United States and Mexico. It was terrible. It was hilarious. It was a joke. You get the point.
As I told him in my note, one of the best things about my friend is his ability to not take anything seriously except for those things that must be taken seriously. I find that a lot of people have some trouble drawing the line in the right place. Some take everything WAY too seriously (which is typically the camp I'm in) while others don't take enough things seriously. He has managed to find a balance that is both charming and admirable and I told him so.
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